Children & Chocolate and Other Paths to God

For the last year or two my four year old has had several imaginary friends (I.F.s for those in the know...). Tubby is the main guy, while TeeTee, PoPo, and Grinda only make appearances at select gatherings. I've had to hold the door open for Tubby, set a place for him at dinner, even help set up for a party in his honor. Usually, though, Tubby is cared for by my daughter.

She's drawn pictures of him on the blackboard in our kitchen and he's bigger than I thought. He's slightly taller than my daughter, and sadly, has no body to speak of. He's just a head on two legs, with two arms sticking out where his ears should be. He does have a nice smile though.

I'm sure kids develop IFs for a variety of reasons, though I'm thinking they may be hereditary. According to both our mothers, my husband and I each had our IFs when we were little too. (though I have zero recollection of this)

Sometimes Tubby is around to just "keep company" as my daughter likes to say. Other times, I see her use him to work out social stresses (such as they are for a 3 or 4 year old). There was the time I was in the kitchen and heard her yell at Tubby to get back in line and wait his turn for the bathroom, sounding very frustrated. I remember thinking, you know you're having a bad day when your I.F. is pissing you off! (I'm hoping that she wasn't mimicking her nursery school teacher...)

Whatever the reason, he's been around our house for so long now that I can tell when she's with him. She gets very "busy" and you'll hear her talking under her breath. I'm glad she has him. He's been good to her.

I think things changed yesterday morning, however.

Upon my daughter's request, my husband helped set up a birthday party for Tubby in our basement. The whole gang was there, and all the food was ready. But, alas, Tubby never showed up. My daughter told us that he "growed up and moved away" and that's why he didn't come.

Hmmm. Well, I'm curious to see if he's gone for good or just on vacation. You just never know with these I.F.s. Where ever he is, I hope he's having a good time...