Children & Chocolate and Other Paths to God

Like many of Americans, I spent my weekend watching football with my family.  Even my 3 year old gets into into it, cheering for Peyton Manning (painful loss), and then the Giants. She was always intriqued when there was a flag thrown (yellow is her favorite color). My husband would then explain to her that it was the ref's way of telling people that a player did something he wasn't supposed to - that he was maybe in the wrong place on the field, or pulled on someone's face mask. He then joked that maybe my mom friends and I should use the same system at playgroups. Throw a yellow flag and call foul when someone hits or steals a toy. I thought we should get striped t-shirts and whistles to really make it work. It's an interesting concept. I could just imagine the looks on their little faces!

So I started thinking about it- wouldn't it be interesting if we could all walk around with whistles and yellow flags for a day? The next time you see someone being rude, cutting in line, or going through the express check-out with too many items, you could just yell "FOUL!" I wonder if it would make a difference. How many people aren't even aware that they're not being nice? I'm usually aware of days I'm in a bad mood, and can justify my behavior in some way (I don't feel well, didn't get enough sleep, etc), but I'm sure there are times I'm too distracted to think about how I'm treating others when a loud whistle to snap me out of it might actually work.

And let me clarify that I don't think for a second that adults should go around monitoring other adults' behavior. We're all responsible for ourselves, and it's a bit rightous to assume that any of us can make calls on anyone else. (except our children - and some adults don't even do this, which is a pet peeve of mine...)

That being said, I usually try to give really cranky people the benefit of the doubt. I remember that after my second miscarriage I had to go to Target to pick up something. I was in a fog of depression as it was, and I was having a hard time finding what I was looking for. I'm sure the employee I asked for help thought I was nuts, as I was practically in tears over nothing, but I couldn't stop thinking "you're all walking around like things are normal and have no idea that my heart has just been torn to shreds."  Ever since that experience, I just assume that really miserable rude people may have something hard that they're dealing with, or not feel well, or just lost their job, got dumped, etc. (of course, they may just be rude miserable people, but there's not much you can do about that). Either way, if you can't help them directly, they all need our prayers. Hard as it is, rude and miserable people need our love and support the most. You would never abandon your child when it was having a bad day, instead you would probably work harder to be close to it. As a Christian, I have to assume that God feels the same way about these people, his children, and so should we.

So though flags are necessary on the football field, and rules in life need to be followed, and there have to be consequences for bad behavior (especially with children), I also think there is room for more sympathy, understanding and forgiveness in everyday life. It's easy to see what motivates a football player to pull a face mask, or for a child to grab a toy, but most adults behaviors are more complex than that. Next time, instead of getting frustrated that someone cuts you off in traffic, say a little prayer for someone who needs it but is too distracted to know it.